In our summer discussion surrounding the book Soul of a Citizen: Living With Conviction in Challenging Times (by Paul Rogat Loeb), we have found the author’s postscript, called The Ten Suggestions to be extremely poignant.  Loeb refers to them as the “Ten Commandments” for effective citizen engagement, and we’ve spent a great deal of time working through them and with them.  Today I want to share our work on Suggestion #6: Unlikely Alliances: Seek out unlikely alliances.  The more you widen the circle, the more you’ll have a chance of breaking through the entrenched barriers to change.

In our meeting two weeks ago, we made our own list of suggestions on how to engage unlikely allies.  Please feel free to comment, add items to the list, or share stories of unlikely alliances you have witnessed or participated in.

7 Suggestions on Engaging Unlikely Allies

1. Ask open-ended questions; true listening means making an effort to engage and understand your potential ally without introducing your own biases, preconceived notions, or suppositions.

2. Seek ways to come together around something specific.  Don’t focus on your differences, but on your shared willingness to achieve a goal or complete a project.  If you are deflected by the things you disagree on, the work suffers.

3. Be approachable.  At the institute, we call this “speaking in a way that you can be listened to.”  Welcome your potential ally in the spirit of humility and hospitality.

4. Know your potential ally and what he or she needs or wants most in the potential alliance.  This is not to breed coercion but to allow you to think like your ally and provide the foundation for a partnership based in mutual benefit and work for a common goal.

5. Be willing to embrace a “what if” moment.  As yourself these questions: “What if we were able to put aside our differences and work for something greater than either of us or our organizations?”  ”What if this could actually work, even though we have been told time and again that a project like this based in an alliance like this is doomed to fail?”

6. Create a narrative that both parties are comfortable with that tells the story of why you allied with each other and how you plan to meet your shared goal.  Personal stories of this nature are very powerful and can inspire others to seek unlikely alliances.

7. Trust your instincts.  If you see the potential for an unlikely alliance, and the only thing telling you to go through with it is your gut, DO IT!